Spare the ROD and NOT spoil the child.

The Biblical Rod was used by the Shepherd to guide, control, discipline, and PROTECT the sheep, not to beat them!

AKA: Parenting without violence!
AKA: “Spare the Rod and spoil the child” means discipline WITHOUT punishment.
AKA: Thy ROD and Thy Staff they comfort me.

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RevDate: 100521, (Changes posted at the end)

Written by: Don Design Jr.


Dear reader,
Here is a speech I often present to groups. The brackets surround words that I sometimes delete (because of time restrains). Square bracketed words are instructions to myself.



[Take off belt and whip something loudly]. I learned discipline from “Spare the Rod and spoil the child.” and by God so will you!”

[Shake head NO]
Violence to children has been justified by the Biblical, “Spare the Rod and spoil the child.” The saying is correct, but that interpretation is (wrong, Wrong,) WRONG!  All of us at want beatings (stopped, Stopped,) STOPPED. That is Ideas the number 4

This speech was inspired by a Church Pastor who severely whipped his five children on behalf of “Spare the Rod and spoil the child.” After seeing the alternatives, he apologized to and made amends with his children. They all loved him, but they all resented his whippings; one rebelled and turned away from him and all he stood for. That Pastor now teaches the alternatives to his congregation!

Welcome to “Santa’s Parenting without violence workshop.” [Put on Santa hat.]
I am a year round Santa and a volunteer spokesperson and author for [4 fingers].

Today I will clarify the Shepherd’s Rod; I will introduce eight non-violent methods to guide, control, and discipline children, I will introduce on-line resources explaining these and additional methods from Experts, and I will share experiences on my favorite method.

This is important because one in eight children need HOSPITALIZATION for punishment injuries. (Worse,) most beaten (children submit, but they also) resent, rebel, hate, retaliate, and even murder their parents! (Perhaps even worse,) many grow up to beat their own children. (The main reason) parents use punishment because they don’t know alternatives. Many of you are court ordered here for injuring your children. Today you will learn better ways.

(Santa likes to give away gifts. Today) Santa has gifts [just show them]. Later I will ask three questions! The person who answers first gets first pick. [give a cohort the answers, just in case]


The Biblical Rod was used by the Shepherd to guide, control, discipline, and PROTECT the sheep, not to beat them! The Shepherd would guide and control the sheep by pushing or prodding with the Rod. (He did not hit or poke the sheep.) A young or unruly sheep would need just one firm tap to learn discipline. The Shepherd never beat the sheep! An advocate of whippings asked, “Then why was the Rod so thick and strong?” [form a C with fingers] Most Shepherds had only a stout Rod and courage to PROTECT the sheep from hungry wolves. The Shepherd beat the WOLVES with the Rod, NOT the sheep.!

(That is the reason) The Bible also says, “Thy Rod and Thy Staff they COMFORT me!” The Bible also says Jesus loves children. We (at take that to mean Jesus wants beatings (stopped, Stopped,) STOPPED.

8 of my favorite alternative methods (to guide, control, and discipline) are:
_1 Reasoning.
_2 American Indians tamed wild horses and CHILDREN in a few minutes by restraining them to exhaustion. [arms around struggling child.]
_3 Dwight threw a cup of cold water in the face of a child to shock them out of a (temper) tantrum.
_4 Joyce broke down and cried in front of an out-of-control teenage daughter. (That worked after several beatings failed.)
_5 Don ignore son’s (temper) tantrum until son realized it does no good.
_6 Walter made his son pay money for angrily breaking a window (during a temper tantrum).
_7 Calvin paid back double for steeling.
_8 The Best: My Father’s NOW. We either obeyed and got a hug or had our hair pulled.

These methods and others and links to experts are shown on [show 4 fingers].
These experts include Parent Effectiveness Training, Love and Logic, and Focus on the Family. See links listed at the end.
For more details of these and more Vote For Future Articles>

My favorite method is my Father’s “NOW”.
I am the third of seven children. I saw my Father work his magic on the younger ones and realized he used it on me. (He was lenient: we could do anything that was not dangerous, damaged something, or bothered someone.) A toddler was about to pull the power cord of a table lamp. My Father yelled NOW! The toddler was startled and stopped and got a hug. Soon the toddler learned what that word meant. A simple “now” was all it took. My Father had absolute, immediate, and loving control of all seven children. The word “now” was my Father’s Rod.

Whenever my Father told us to do something, or to not do something, or to stop doing something and he did not say “Now,” it meant, “If you want to.” But once he added “Now,” it meant, “Do it Now and get a loving hug or be punished.”

My Father reasoned with the older children. His wisdom was our guide. He didn’t even need to say now.

With the in-between children, sometimes there was no time to reason or they didn’t agree, he would just say “Now.” They almost always obeyed and he gave them a hug. Seldom did he pull hair.

I used it on my son. At six years old he did not like putting on his little shoes; I usually did it for him, but one day I was running late. We had to leave in 15 minutes. I said, “Put your shoes on.” Which meant, if you want to. Five minutes later I peeked in his room and said, “Please put your shoes on.” Finally it was time to go, I peeked in and said, “Put your shoes on now.” Moments later, (as I made final preparations to leave,) my son came out with his shoes on and gave ME a hug! I only pulled his hair five times. I had complete, immediate, and loving control over him.

“Now” works!

I was never punished, but I lovingly obeyed my parents. My son was never punished. An old teacher ready to retire said my son was the kindest boy she ever knew. My son said he would go to war just to protect me. My Father learned “now” from his Father. My son thanks his Great Grand Father!

My Father was never whipped; He was a wonderful man. I go by the name of Don Design Jr because of him. I was never punished. Yet I was the scholar athlete of the Year in College, inspired by my Father.

Even an unruly nine year old learned (my meaning of) “now” without injury. In minutes, I had complete and immediate control of him. I also used this method in the Army.

Kids are smarter than horses:

One parent was a horse trainer who would never whip a horse. In fact, it appalls him when others whipped their horses. But he often whip his kids. Well he did anyway, BEFORE he took this class. In class, he said a whipping was sometimes required for his three kids. I told him, “No, it means you are not smart enough or kind enough to find a better way. You can out smart a horse but not your kids.” He decided to Say “Now!” Months later, he e-mailed that he no longer whipped his kids; he just used Reasoning and if needed, Said “Now!”


“Spare the Rod and spoil the child.” The saying is correct, but has been interpreted wrong by those who beat their children. The Shepherd’s Rod is to guide, control, discipline, PROTECT, and COMFORT the sheep not to beat them. We (at [show 4 fingers]) believe Jesus wants beatings (stopped, Stopped,) STOPPED.

Alternative methods and links to Experts are shown on [show 4 fingers].

Yes all these methods work and are far more effective than beatings! Sure most beaten children submit, but many are hospitalized, and they resent, rebel, hate, retaliate, and even murder their parents! Perhaps even worse, many grow up to beat their own children. Children disciplined with alternative methods do not.

Quiz time!
The first person to answer gets first pick.
What is the name of our Website? [show 4 fingers].
What did the Shepherd beat with the Rod? Pause The sheep or the wolves?
What word was my, my Father’s, and my Grandfather’s Rod?

Thousands of children, grand children, great grand children, etc will be spared if YOU tell your family and friends about [show 4 fingers].


What methods did you experience as a child? What methods did you use as a Parent. What methods are new to you. Which methods will you use in the future? Results of this survey will be posted on’s Website.


Started: 81213.


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Additional links to other I4H articles: None.

Additional External Links:

Dr Gordon’s Parent Effectiveness Training (PET).
Jim Fay’s Love And Logic.
Dr. James Dobson’s  Focus On The Family.
Dr. Miller’s Stress Relaxation.
Roy Masters’ Human Understanding.
The 12 Steps of 12-Step programs.

End Additional External Links.


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Copyright 2010,, All Rights Reserved.
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Published: 100522. Posted: 100521.  Started: 81213. Checked sgv.

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